yet another year

yet another year coming to its end..

besides trying to keep myself on track for the next change of my life, i often stop and think what have i done over the past year.

this year was quite a difficult year for me. although with a new job, new friends and new environment, i still look back and thought that i have actually missed out a lot. I know that there are certain things that i could have done better, there are also certain things that i have said or done which made me laughed. laughed because of my stupidity.

to many, i am a good guy.. to those who really know me, there's just one. who is my girl friend. she seems to know all the bad about me, which i successfully hide from everyone else in the world. i think this is really unfair to her, because she got nobody to share with. I sometimes feel bad for her, and sometimes, i said to myself, she dun deserve me. it's a blessing that i have been with her for so many years and still going strong, but i fear the day that the endurance stop/depleted. what will happen then? i don't know the answer, but i really wanted to tell her that i am sorry, and that i love her very much. god please give me the will power.

i seriously hope that bringin some distance between me and her will help to minimize the arguments. but i know this is a childish move. whatever that i've told her, i was seriously trying to change her, but all fell on deaf ears. how could i carry on?where will my motivation lies?

where will i be in the next ten years...? where will she be in the next ten years?

am i?

am i heading to the right way?

got what i wanted, but am not too happy about it.

am i making the right decision?

if yes, why am i in doubt?

am i doing the right thing?

why am i feeling guilty?

am i on my way for a greater path?

i'm scared that i will go backward instead of forward

am i selfish?

i'm too selfish to admit that i am..

am i foolish?

fooling myself to take this chance and telling myself everything will be ok

am i sad?

not sure, there's nobody to talk to, but tears are standing by

I've reached that age

What age?

Age when u receive red bombs and people asking you, when is yours? But having people asking me on the same time, this is too much...


pls excuse me... i got less than 2 months to work on my yum seng war cry.....

Feeling

Feeling - composed by Pink

feeling so sad
everything is crumbling
for the heart i once had
is no longer beating

feeling frustrated
lost the will power
every step feels stranded
never felt any lower

feeling down
the feeling that nobody wants.
world is moving without me
presence not felt by anyone

feeling stressed
head is under so much pressure
shoulder often stretched
but still feel tired as ever

feeling demotivated
positive energy all gone
where is the old me
the one that stood up for everyone?



everything beside me is moving for better things, but here i am, still running around in circles, not going anywhere. when can i get away from this rat race, when can i have my breakthrough? when, can i move on....?

Gender of your baby?

h                           WOMAN'S CONCEIVING AGE
MONTH OF
CONCEPTION    18  19  20  21  22  23  24  25  26  27  28  29  30  31

January        G   B   G   B   G   B   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   B
February       B   G   B   G   B   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   G   G
March          G   B   G   G   B   G   B   B   B   G   B   G   G   B
April          B   G   B   G   G   B   B   G   G   B   G   G   G   G
May            B   G   B   G   B   B   G   G   G   G   G   B   G   G
June           B   B   B   G   G   G   B   B   B   G   G   B   G   G
July           B   B   B   G   G   B   B   G   G   B   B   B   G   G
August         B   B   B   G   B   G   G   B   B   B   B   B   G   G
September      B   B   B   G   G   B   G   B   G   B   B   B   G   G
Gctober        B   B   G   G   G   B   G   B   G   B   B   G   G   G
November       B   G   B   G   G   B   G   B   G   G   G   G   B   G
December       B   G   B   G   G   G   G   B   G   B   G   G   B   B

_____________________________________________________________________
                         WOMAN'S CONCEIVING AGE
MONTH OF
CONCEPTION    32  33  34  35  36  37  38  39  40  41  42  43  44  45

January        B   G   B   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   B   G
February       G   B   G   B   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   B
March          B   B   B   G   B   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   G   B
April          G   B   G   B   G   B   B   B   B   G   B   G   B   G
May            G   G   G   G   B   G   B   B   G   B   G   B   B   G
June           G   G   G   G   G   B   G   G   B   G   B   G   B   G
July           G   G   G   G   G   G   B   G   B   B   G   B   G   B
August         G   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   B   G   B   G
September      G   G   G   G   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   B   G   B
Gctober        G   G   G   G   B   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   B   G
November       G   G   B   B   B   G   B   G   B   G   B   B   G   B
December       B   B   B   B   B   B   G   G   G   B   G   B   G   B

_____________________________________________________________________
                               EXPLANATION

You can choose for yourself whether you want a boy or a girl by following the chart. The woman's age from 18 to 45 (Chinese reckoning) is on the top line while the months 1 to 12 indicate the month when the baby is conceived. By following the chart you will be able to tell in advance whether your baby will be a boy or a girl. Thus, you can plan to have a boy or a girl. This chart has been taken from a Royal tomb near Peking, China. The original copy is kept in the Institute of Science of Peking. The accuracy of the chart has been proved by thousands of People and is believed to be 99 percent accurate. By reckoning, you follow a line drawn from the figure representing the woman's age to a line drawn from the month the baby is conceived. For instance, if the woman is 27 years old and her baby is conceived in January (according to the Chinese Lunar Calendar), then her baby will be a girl. The chart is based on the month the baby is conceived and not on the birth of the baby, B-Male, G-Female. Remarks: A Chinese Scientist discovered and drew this chart which was buried in a Royal tomb about 700 years ago.

think smart, for a smarter planet

light as ever

Light as Ever - composed by Pink

like a piece of paper
floating thru the air
mind as light as ever
all thoughts are spared

like dragon flies tipping
on surface of a pond
send your panic spinning
out of your head, gone

like snow flakes
gently falling from the sky
your life is not at stake
just let the exam pass you by

like the spring breeze
running thru your body and hair
let your worries float easy
out from your soul and into the air.

mind and thoughts are weightless,
don't let it weigh u down,
be brave and relentless,
come next year, you will be wearing the lawyers gown.

He

He - composed by Pink

he who is patience
taught us how to read.
he who is wise,
taught us how to feed.


he who is calm
taught us how to think
he who is optimistic
taught us how to float, not to sink

he who is funny
made all of us laughed
he who is jokey
he tickles with every puff.

he who is kind
ever so thoughtful and caring
he taught us to be polite
so that we can be other ppl's liking

he, who is my coach
he, who is my teacher
he, who is my mentor
he, who is my preacher

who's he?
he, is my dad

happy fathers day!!!

May 13 - What is that?

Above is a response from a college kid, when asked by a Malaysia's insider reporter, 40 years after the awful incident. I, as one of the million 80's babies will not be too familiar with what happened, but words coming from our parents and generation before them sort of give us the chill to the bone, hoping that it will not happen again. (see it here)

Our history books from Sasbadi and Preston didn't really write about the incident, and i wonder why. Aren't history books suppose to tell us what REALLY happended, so that we can all together avoid such tragedy from happening again?

Well, apparently, maybe not so. Maybe because it's not in our books, our youths nowadays don't have that fear, or hatred in them. They live together as one, one nation. There's no such thing as racial tension for them. They would exchange their mother tounge with one another. Whenever they mention the word 'babi', they REALLY ARE refering to that cute animal.

Received a call from my grandmother last night, telling me to stay away from KL today, saying it's May13, and there will be riot or some sort. You know how old ppl can be so naggy, they will not let you off the phone until you said ok. You can't really blame. Poeple of our generation will never understand the hardship they've gone thru when the real May 13 happended.

Going back to my granny's warning, well, as of now, after hours of monitoring the news online, all i read about is the Perak political crisis.. BORING... So you see, the nation don't really care about this racial tension anymore. especially when you see the chinese community are also supporting PAS. Not because of their practise and believe, but as a stand to protest the governing party to stop their nonsense and do their work.

So tell me, what is May13 today? Racial tension or political tension?